A Few Things Before Marriage...
I wrote this to myself to have something to work towards. I wrote this to myself so as to put myself in a position where I can accept nothing less as much as possible.
I not only want to be a help meet but I want to be an asset. A helper of destiny, a helper of the ministry of reconciliation. I not only want to create nice aromas in the kitchen and give life to human beings but I want to be an answer to his prayers.
I promised myself a few things before getting involved in the institution of marriage.
I promised myself to get my money right. It’s not because of what you think. I promised myself this because there isn’t anyone I can name in my family tree who I can confidently say are creating a serious amount of this thing called wealth. Not because it’s everything and it’s a title that I want to hold, but because nobody worked or pushed themselves hard enough to get there. Nobody stood up and said I’m going to improve our way of living. Being able to consistently generate large amounts of wealth isn't a title I want to hold and suspend everywhere. I want to do this because I want to say that, "It IS possible," "We CAN live better."I want to do this because I want a better future for the future generation of the family I will have.
I want to do this maybe because I’m tired of, “We don’t have enough for this,” I’m tired of “We can’t afford it.” and settle for less. I’m tired of “Can’t you find something cheaper?”, I’m tired of “All we need is this amount of money to do this.” I do not desire the thought my future children borrowing government money to go to school, the thought of filing for government benefits when I give birth makes the hairs on my back stand up, and the thought of the 'bonus' of being able to claim the money that I earn from the government when I reach the age of 25 makes my nostrils flare and my eyes roll how many times.
I’m tired of the dreams that have to die because of lack of money. I mean aren't you?
I promised myself that I would invest in my person before joining myself to someone in the constitution of marriage. Is it in the department of my personality, the investment of God’s Word, the kitchen department, the bedroom department (Jesus you help a sister out on this one k), being an adequately equipped wife. I promised myself that I must be completely complete and content in Christ first. Because feelings are fickle. That my fellowship with God has to be rich. At the end of it all, I won’t be standing before the judgement seat of Christ with my husband holding my hand will I?
I promised myself that I must be a woman of excellence. Being minded that all I do are as unto the Lord. Even if nobody praises me. Even if nobody sees; knowing that my Father sees. Knowing that He is my reward. Whether I’m carrying out my duties, whether I’m helping someone, whether I’m feeding my children. Excellent people who set their minds on God don't have to be prodded to do well. They fulfil their responsibilities willingly because they do them as unto The Lord.
I promised myself to be a woman of commitment. Being a woman of commitment is all about keeping up the faith no matter what life throws at you. Against all odds. Against all the fiery darts of the wicked (Ephesians 6:16). I promised to groom myself to be a woman of commitment no matter what pain I experience. Be it emotional pain, be it financial pain, be it physical pain. Being a woman of commitment to me means being able to keep keeping on when the challenges of life don’t make sense. Being able to say, “Lord, I have no idea why this is happening but I’m gonna speak Your word back to You concerning this situation and see myself out.” Being able to hold on tenaciously on to His word when things just don’t add up, being able to commit when it doesn’t make sense, being able to commit when like Job, all was lost. As a woman of commitment, always keep in mind that faith doesn’t always make sense in our darkest situations. But that’s what our ‘commitment’ is all about; keeping up the faith no matter what life throws at you.
I promised myself to be a woman of value. Eve’s first calling was to fulfil God’s purpose for her; being Adam’s help meet in the dominion mandate. She had a significant role with Adam to fulfil it. The dominion mandate was when God blessed them ‘and said to them to be fruitful, multiply, replenish the earth and subdue it’. (Genesis 1:28). Adam was responsible for this coming to pass; Eve being his helper in fulfilling it. Eve had great value placed on her.
As a woman of value, I have a very high value placed on me by God Himself. I have discovered my calling, and it’s only for the glorification of my Father. Being a woman of value to me means I’m a significant member of the body of Christ; having a duty only I can carry out. It means God has entrusted into my hands a purpose that must be fulfilled. Being given so much value, it also means to me not settling for anything less than what my creator has created me to be. It means confidence, it means strength, it means taking pride in my uniqueness, taking pride in the fact that there is no one else like myself on the face of this earth, it means refusing to be relegated by any being. It means standing up for what is right and standing up for what I believe in according to His Word.
From time to time, I like to add to this list as God reveals to me more and more in the walks of life. I’ve just made up my mind to take advantage of the grace that is in our Lord and Saviour (2 Peter 3:18) and not just live an average life. As if that’s what He died for!