The 20 Year Old Virgin: Part 2
So maybe you've been having sex very consistently. But you want to stop. 2 things; the easy bit and the hard bit. Easy bit is that if I can control myself you can too. I'm a spirit being living in this human body full of fleshly desires just like you. Hard bit is that only YOU can make the decision for yourself. Nobody, not even God can make it for you. He gives you a choice between 'life and death, but would rather you chose life.' - Deuteronomy 30:19.
It's not because I've not yet had sex that I can successfully control myself. It is because I've mastered 'the art' of refraining from it until it is the right time. My mind is made up and the 'renewing of my mind' is in place. The book of Romans in chapter 12 talks about placing your life before God. Verse 2 says,
'Don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God.'
If you can decide to make up your mind to not have sex and the 'renewing of your mind' is focused on 'whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; things that are found to be virtuous, and things that are worthy of any praise,' I tell you, your 'downstairs' will be 'closed for business' until it is the right time and until you are ready.
Maybe you've been able to stop but stumbled along the way and went back to doing it consistently. Stand up, dust yourself off and try again. Make a pact with God. Tell Him, 'Lord, I really wanna stop and only want to do it the right way. In the way that is honourable unto You." I promise you, that from that moment, God will faithfully stand by you until you are made perfect in Him. Even if it takes you a whole year to completely stop. Even if it takes you 5 years. God is happy that you've got a sincere willing heart and will stand by you until you are 'perfect'.
Maybe you were caught in the heat of the moment and did it just the once. Now you totally regret it. God isn't angry at you. If anything, He loves you even more and embraces you in His arms even more. God is as loving as any parent would be when their child makes a mistake. That's the kind of Father He is. Matthew 7:9 onwards says,
"If your child asks for bread, do you trick him a stone? ...So don't you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?"
He's loved you from when you were formed in the womb and doesn't intend on stopping at any point in time. No matter who you are. Even if you don't believe in Him.
Maybe you've caught an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) as a result of having sex, causing you to give up. Your walls seem like they've come crashing down and on top of that, you've got to bare the shame of everyone knowing why you're not so well. Some decisions have their consequences that are expensive. Sex can be one of them if done wrongly and in wrong timing.
There isn't one defect in your body that God cannot heal. I say this not because I'm a Christian, but because I've witnessed it with my own eyes. If God's power could overshadow Mary the mother of Jesus and cause her to conceive without any sort of sexual interaction, what exactly do you think it is that He can't fix in your body? I'd love an answer to this other than 'nothing'.
I like to use my own experiences to encourage you. I'm also young and still going through the different stages and experiences of this thing called life. I've been blessed and privileged to have people around me to 'warn' me about this part of life. I recognise that it's grace and that not everybody got or gets this chance.
There's a particular people I haven't addressed yet, but I'm coming, so don't sleep on me.